On a cold and wet afternoon Belper 2's played host to a young and fit Rolls Royce team who were looking for their first win of the season.

Belper had an imbalanced mix of vibrant youth playing out of position, experienced old heads playing out of position and players returning from injury or knitting duty. One of the older players even had an in-growing toe nail but promised not to mention it , (well... not too often) and that he was prepared to put his body (well....toe) on the line and play through the pain barrier because that was what Belper Rugby mean't to him. I think we were all inspired by his sacrifice.

It was evident from the opening 5 minutes that Belper would need to quickly gell in order to fend off the visitors. After 25 minutes there was no score, with the game being played mainly in the RR half although the visitors did look very quick and agile in the backs and made deep penetrating forages into Belper's 22m whenever they had the opportunity. It was on the half hour when Mick Elove, ignored the pain in his big toe, defied his years and took full opportunity of a quick tap penalty and ambled past the dozing RR defence to score.

Unfortunately the kick was missed. Straight from the kick off, Belper headed back to the visitor's 22m and proceeded to set up camp (not literally), constantly putting the RR forwards under pressure. On the one occasion that the visitors won the ball, they chose to try and run it when perhaps a kick would have been a better option, however Big Brian (ex Irish rugby league and netball player) managed to disrupt the play which led to Lil' Dobber, sporting his usual scowl, kicking through and diving gracefully on the ball to score, simultaneously avoiding the mud and wth not a hair out of place...bless him!

The kick was missed but Belper looked forward to reaching half-time with a comfortable lead. Unfortunately the visitors had other ideas and after a loose pass from Belper's aubern haired fly half, RR were able to capitalise and run 70m to score near the posts. The conversion made in 10-7 at half time with all to play for.

The half time talks were inspring, with Captain Holmezy giving a brief lecture on the importance of safe working methods and Vice-Captain Laven reminding us again, that he had an in growing toenail and that he now felt no pain. Don't quite know whether it was his toe or brain that had been numbed by his first half efforts but again, Belper were inspired.

It certainly did the trick because Belper came out with all guns firing and quickly took the fight deep into the visitor's 22m and after getting fed up of the backs making no progress with the stream of good ball, Mick Elove decided to take things into his own hands and after smuggling the ball away from a maul, managed to saunter through the defence from 10m out and score his second try. The kick was missed...mmmmhhhh!

RR kicked off and Big Dobber successfully, and somewhat surprisingly, caught the ball and set off on a run back into the visitors half. Very soon Belper forwards were putting the RR scrum under pressure again and from 8m out managed to push over, allowing Mick Elove to claim his 3rd try of the game, although probably due to his numbed brain, Mickey insisted it was only the 2 tries that he had scored. Surprisingly the conversion was kicked and Belper took a 22-7 lead.

Andy Ryan, with very little effort on his part, managed to break 2 of the RR props, although the 2nd one was suspiciously fragile, and in a cynical move (which had been long suggested by the RR supporters on the line) the game went to uncontested scrums. After realising that his destructive talents were no longer needed Andy Ryan graciously left the park to be replaced by Salad Holmes, who was returning from injury, ironically caused by Andy Ryan. Perhaps Andy needs to be a little more selective with his destructive powers in future.

Uncontested scrums did little to stem the tide of pressure that was now being heaped on RR, and they seemed unable to comprehend or defend against, the multiple blind side breaks from the scrum that Captain Holmezy, Mick Elove and Big Dobber continued to make. It seemed to come as a complete surprise to RR when, once again, Captain Holmezy went blind, and popped it to Mick Elove who burst over the line only to cunningly hold himself up because he feared he would have to buy a jug, still insisting that he had only the 2 tries to his name. The in-growing toenail must have effected his memory.

From the resulting scrum Captain Jon again went blind, again to the complete surprise of RR despite being loudly informed of the plan.....doh! After regaining his sight, Captain Holmezy majestically dummied inside before single handedly holding off the whole opposition pack plus a back or two, and then magically used his right hand to conjure up a sublime pass to Luke Ruggy who gayly skipped in to score an easy try with no opposition anywhere near him due to the fact the Captain Jon had still got hold of them all, with one hand. The aubern haired fly half returned to his usual form and the kick was missed.

From the kick off, the game very rapidly returned to the RR line and another series of scrums ensued. Just as RR were starting to realise that the blind side was a fruitful avenue for Belper, Captain Holmezy fooled everyone and spun the ball out wide to his backs who made excellent use of it with Alex Minga scoring a well deserved try in the far corner. Even with the wind, the slope and RR sucking the ball towards to posts with all their might and the Welsh ref (who was very consistent all match) allowing the ball to be moved in field, the kick was missed.

Again, straight from the kick off, the play returned, rather predictably to the RR 22m area. Rolls struggled in the scrum all match and even when it went un-contested it was not a formality, but they did manage to hold the final scrum off the game and it then became apparent to Belper why the opposition chose to run the ball from everywhere as the, what would have been the final kick of the game, failed to reach touch and was gathered expertly by Ruggy, who then proceeded to throw the most outrageous dummy and side step, before strolling in for his second try. As RR congregated under the posts, dazed and confused, trying to understand just how they all fell for such an adept move from Ruggy which led to the try, the aubern fly half prepared to miss his final conversion attempt.

Final score 37-7 to Belper.
The Welsh ref blew his whistle for full time and Leon Griffiths exchanged a few "yakki dahs" with his fellow countryman as he walked off the pitch whilst the rest of Belper seconds congratulated themselves on a job well done although they realised they will have to keep playing to today's high standard if they want to finish mid-table.

A big thanks should go out to all the younger players for helping the older ones through the game and ensuring that they have a little enjoyment in their fading years.

Tony Laven, a late replacement in the kitchen, did an admirable job in cooking a chilli.....which was fine. Oh,and did Mick Elove mention his in-growing toenail?