First the good news....After a late pitch inspection the game was given the go ahead. Then practically every one in Belper who had ever played rugby had declared themselves available late on Friday and as such team selection was an absolute headache for Captain Holmezy. Just to compound the problem, there were first teamers who turned up on the day who also wanted to play. The "seconds" had never been so popular! Captain Holmezy resisted the temptation to play first teamers and stuck with his faithful bunch, finally picking a team to keep everyone happy and everyone getting a run out.

Now the "iffy" news. Mick Elove and the big ginger prop decided that Captain Holmezy should relinquish his motivational speaking duties, which he is not good at, and stick to team selection, which he is reasonably good at. Mick Elove and the big ginger prop roused the troops with a stirring speech before the match and again at half time. The referee announced that he used to play for Derby. He greeted all their players by name and with a stiff handshake. It was agreed that we should play 35 min each way.

Now the bad news. Belper were awful for most of the match. Only rarely did they cause Derby Vets problems and struggled all match to win any good ball from either scrum or lineout, as such Derby Vets had a field day. Defensively, in the first half, Captain Holmezy led by example by missing tackles (he's not renowned for his tackling don't you know) and this spread through the team, who followed suit and missed so many tackles that the older and wiser Derby Veterans took full advantage, scoring easy try after easy try. On the few occasions Belper won good ball, Captain Holmezy displayed his true talent and made a dazzling break deep into the Derby half before passing to Birdy who released the moody Emslie (its hormonal we think) only for the referee to spot an invisible forward pass to deny Belper a certain try and award Derby a scrum. A few minutes later, another fantastic break saw Captain Holmezy slice through the defence and offload to young Tom Mathews who did the referee a favour by making his knock on clearly visible when the line beckoned, hence another Derby Vets Scrum. The half ended early with Derby in a commanding lead of LOTS to NOTHING.

The second half started a little brighter with the words of the big ginger prop ringing in everyone's ears. The forwards caused a few more problems and Derby Vets obviously didn't like the high tempo loose play as they, time and time again handled the ball on the floor, went over the top, came in from offside positions or held on to the ball in attempts to stem the Belper attack. Fortunately for Derby Vets the referee missed most of the misdemeanors and allowed Derby Vets to break free and score at will. On the few occasions that Belper were awarded penalties, each quick tap led to an eventual score, with Young Dobber, Darren "boyo" Griffiths and Emslie (still hormonal) all breaching the Derby Vets defense for tries.

In the end though the game was a bit like a cat playing with a mouse,,,, there was only ever going to be one winner despite the mouse fighting back sporadically, and when the cat had got sufficiently bored it agreed to end it early to spare the mouse any further misery, with the referee blowing the final whistle with 10 minutes to go.
Once again, it was the youngsters, Tom Mathews, Phil Bertilson, Luke Thompson and Tom Hallam in particular, who came out of the game with most credit. The older guys need to step their game up!

Final score was 17 - 53 in favour of the Derby contingent.

Everyone, even the dejected Belper players, had a good time in the clubhouse afterwards with Derby enjoying the hospitality of Belper and the ambience of a real rugby club!!

And Captain Holmezy, as part of his new duties got to collect glasses, return plates to the kitchen, sweep changing rooms, help behind the bar plus any other job that Mick Elove decided was beneath him...... (so that's alright then).....everyone went home happy!

Next week Belper return to league duties with a home match against Derby 4th's. Perhaps the Belper mouse will learn to roar, and fare better against a Derby cat from the same litter but perhaps not of the same guile or experience.